1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
