Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
