So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
