shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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