So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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