I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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