Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
