talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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