Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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