Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
