Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just gargled with NyQuil
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
