thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She told me I should be a condom model.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
