I cockslap morals
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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