YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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