Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
