The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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