So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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