we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
