Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
