Umm I'm too high to move.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize