That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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