what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
