For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
tell me about the fingering
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