Texts From Last Night

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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you

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  (506): cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you http://tfl.nu/iu0p
  Replies (21) Good night (5426) Bad night (1157)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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  (904): I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester. http://tfl.nu/arpr
  Replies (9) Good night (1212) Bad night (2905)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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  (630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep
  Replies (36) Good night (8848) Bad night (1228)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.

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  (303): those 9 inches of man changed my life forever. http://tfl.nu/b7ob
  Replies (18) Good night (7908) Bad night (1043)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

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  (216): So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail http://tfl.nu/m6e0
  Replies (9) Good night (1372) Bad night (3160)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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  (216): When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning. http://tfl.nu/aoha
  Replies (3) Good night (3972) Bad night (1022)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1423) Bad night (2928)
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  (209): View more from California

  You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant

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  (209): You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant http://tfl.nu/dw7g
  Replies (7) Good night (2490) Bad night (2072)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.

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  (978): Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday. http://tfl.nu/eeh8
  Replies (13) Good night (2872) Bad night (823)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?

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  (814): Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison? http://tfl.nu/qn7s
  Replies (4) Good night (2038) Bad night (756)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka

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  (343): The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka http://tfl.nu/nkji
  Replies (4) Good night (1190) Bad night (816)
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  (408): View more from California

  Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship

  (817): View more from Texas

  Last one there wins

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  (408): Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship (817): Last one there wins http://tfl.nu/wuri
  Replies (3) Good night (2202) Bad night (785)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.

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  (225): I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40. http://tfl.nu/yalq
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (447)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life

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  (253): Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life http://tfl.nu/x3qe
  Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (407)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Holy sore nipples Batman

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  (618): Holy sore nipples Batman http://tfl.nu/v9db
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (242)

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