Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy

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(415): View more from California

Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in

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(850): View more from Florida

And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.

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(742): View more from

All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud

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(514): View more from Quebec

If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right

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(989): View more from Michigan

You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.

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