Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...

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  (805): bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad... http://tfl.nu/qw8q
  Replies (45) Good night (3245) Bad night (565)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i totally said that

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  (905): i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight (1-905): i totally said that http://tfl.nu/40bc
  Replies (19) Good night (4088) Bad night (588)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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  (740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5
  Replies (39) Good night (8271) Bad night (844)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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  (612): drunk taco night MLK would want it this way. http://tfl.nu/ye78
  Replies (9) Good night (2753) Bad night (871)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4623) Bad night (751)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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  (847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb
  Replies (8) Good night (1234) Bad night (671)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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  (785): My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real http://tfl.nu/x4mj
  Replies (3) Good night (2285) Bad night (440)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close

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  (312): When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close http://tfl.nu/wkbe
  Replies (12) Good night (1667) Bad night (457)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter

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  (305): to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter http://tfl.nu/2ljl
  Replies (5) Good night (607) Bad night (294)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Where's your car?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  The girl I brought home apparently stole it

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  (989): Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station? (615): Where's your car? (989): The girl I brought home apparently stole it http://tfl.nu/7hzq
  Replies (6) Good night (534) Bad night (835)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.

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  (239): It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/4z4q
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (329)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.

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  (414): Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual. http://tfl.nu/8kpf
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (296)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems

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  (303): I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems http://tfl.nu/a77h
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (299)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.

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  (973): Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery. http://tfl.nu/x3iz
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (238)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process

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  (785): Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process http://tfl.nu/ls0g
  Replies (4) Good night (419) Bad night (190)

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