Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.