I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize