Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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