I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.