Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen

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(770): The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen http://tfl.nu/8l9o

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(289): View more from Ontario

i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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(289): i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going? http://tfl.nu/rdp8

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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(252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed

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(803): View more from South Carolina

just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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(803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192

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(440): View more from Ohio

He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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(440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7

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(805): View more from California

I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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(805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6

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(417): View more from Missouri

how was ur day?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

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(417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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(724): He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober. http://tfl.nu/f1xw

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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(902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su

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(469): View more from Texas

Tornado booty call.. dedication

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(469): Tornado booty call.. dedication http://tfl.nu/xoaj

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(301): View more from Maryland

Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?

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(301): Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed? http://tfl.nu/ow4j

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(423): View more from Tennessee

So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now

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(423): So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now http://tfl.nu/44f0

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(517): View more from Michigan

Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.

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(517): Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night. http://tfl.nu/6sjb

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(772): View more from Florida

She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.

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(772): She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me. http://tfl.nu/4pez

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(989): View more from Michigan

I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...

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(989): I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase... http://tfl.nu/38c4

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