I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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