Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
