it's great music for shaving your balls
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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