I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
