I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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