thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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