So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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