I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
