i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
