Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
