hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there's paper in my vomit.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
