I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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