totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
