dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Barsexuality is the new black.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
