I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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