remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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