Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize