I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
