I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
