More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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