Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize