just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
