he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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