So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
