so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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