I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
