my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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