On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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