Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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