Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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