I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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