at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pants are for mortals
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