carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
