Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
